Planning a wedding is already a stressful affair. Narrowing down the guest list, trying to find that picture-perfect venue, and trying on dozens of white dresses, all without blowing the budget, are all things that the bride-to-be will have on her mind for months leading up to the big day.
But, imagine if on top of all of that, she now finds that her bridesmaids aren’t getting along. Whether it’s butting heads over party planning or old grudges coming to the surface, disagreements between bridesmaids can potentially bring wedding planning to a halt.
No bride-to-be should have to deal with the stress of friends or family members quarreling on top of an already-stressful time. However, no one is perfect – our bridesmaids included, no matter how much we love them.
If you have found yourself in this situation, here are a few helpful tips on how to de-escalate conflict, or avoid it altogether, when your bridesmaids aren’t exactly the best of friends.
Delegate Planning Tasks
Let’s say you have a pair of bridesmaids who don’t get along, but both are adamant that they want to help plan your bachelorette party, bridal shower, or other important event. You know that putting them in a room together will only result in an argument, but you know that planning this event for you is important to both of them.
In that case, let them each work on tasks that are equally important, but that they can achieve separately. Having a third, neutral person to step in and coordinate planning can also work wonders. For instance, one bridesmaid can be in charge of choosing a venue or location to host, while the other is completely in control of food and drink. Let each bridesmaid play to their strengths, and as long as they can coordinate, things should go smoothly.
Don’t Pick Sides
While this can be difficult to do when disagreements arise, it’s important that you don’t choose sides, even if you feel that one party is in the wrong. Picking sides in a quarrel will only fracture your bridesmaids more, and it may make the girl you chose not to side with feel that she is no longer welcome.
The best thing that a bride-to-be can do is to remain neutral, and do her best to mediate the situation. It may help to remind all parties involved that your wedding is neither the time nor the place for quarreling.
Don’t Stress About a Dress
If anything is likely to make bridesmaids butt heads, it will be over bridesmaid dresses. Everyone has different tastes, after all, and what looks beautiful and elegant to one person may come off as uncomfortable for another. It can be hard to get a diverse group of girls to agree upon one single dress that looks and feels good on all of them.
The solution? Let each bridesmaid pick their own dress. This not only helps to avoid conflict, but adds a charming, eclectic feel to your wedding photos.
You can still hold true to your vision for your wedding while letting each bridesmaid express themselves. Many bridal parties choose different dresses in the same matching color, or choose from a coordinated color palette that the bride loves.
If this sounds like a winning idea to you, Bella Bridesmaids has a wide selection of bridesmaid dresses in nearly every cut and color you can think of. They also offer inclusive sizing, with junior, maternity, and plus sizes available in a variety of styles.
Talk (and Listen) to Your Bridesmaids
Some bridesmaids might not get along simply because their personalities don’t mix – your loud and boisterous maid of honor, for example, probably doesn’t mean to make your more timid and reserved bridesmaids feel uncomfortable.
However, your bridesmaids may have a more serious, and perfectly valid, reason for not getting along. Sitting down and having a heart to heart with each of them is the best way to get to the root of the problem.
Listen to them with open ears and an open heart, and try to find ways that you can work together to solve the problem without choosing a side.
Your wedding day is meant to be a celebration, and your bridesmaids are meant to celebrate it with you. Arguments, personal grudges, and petty disagreements only distract from what’s important – the love and support that you need from them.
If disagreements arise between them, it’s important to gently remind them of why you brought them all together.